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If only that were some kind of music, I would totally dig the shit out of it. Unfortunately, it is more reference to my state of mind at the moment.

I have not written in a few days. I do not like not writing.

ANZAC Day was a day I was prepared to take off, even the next day was set aside for some serious recovery. But then the next day I got sick. Just a really bad head cold, but I cannot bring myself to get into any work. I just cannot do it. It’s been three days. Lame.

I was discussing, with a friend, the effects of drugs. Someone had claimed that sex, and even self-gratification, was fantastic on E. I would have no idea, I try to keep my shenanigans limited to alcohol, and even then it gets messy. I then thought about my other drugs, besides cheap beer and sexual relations; writing. I love it. I think Brian K Vaughan said it best. Writing, the act itself, sucks major league balls, but having just written is the greatest feeling in the world. Paraphrasing doesn’t do justice to the way I mangled his words just then.

The day that I wrote an entire issue, 22 pages, I think I could have bench pressed my car; that joke hits closer to home for those who have actually seen my guns. I was on such a high, and after having written I am allowed to do anything. My usual vices; TV on DVD, eBay comic purchases, maybe even a new trade through my store, Minotaur, Doritos or peanut butter. After having written I am allowed to do whatever the fuck I want. I am lord of all I survey!

So, inversely, to have not written is about the worst thing that can happen to me. But I am sick, pounding headache, annoying cough, no amount of drugs is fixing it, and I have about 4 litres of water in me (and I don’t know how that is not combating the headache…). In this state I cannot sit down to write, just doing this is amazing me. But only because I’m waiting to watch the latest episode of LOST (which the aforementioned BKV is a scribe for: yeah, everything is cyclical) and anticipation is another drug of choice in this here homestead.

I could not imagine myself writing on any sort of drug. I’ll only treat myself Doritos when I’m writing if I already have a good day’s work to fall back on. I remember reading that Stephen King did not remember reading Cujo; but he thought it looked like a fun book to have worked on. I could not imagine that; not being completely ‘with it’ during the cerebral process of writing. At times I have had a few lazy drinks while writing, but it is not for me. I don’t like the way my head works, or doesn’t, and my fingers lose all dextrousness. I am a pecker at the best of times.

The thought of writing on E, or anything else, seems incomprehensible. I wouldn’t know how to do it, though I guess never say never. I read (yeah, another literarily tale told by me…boring) that Philip K Dick would write on LSD and other stuff; the first of his books that I read was A Maze Of Death which was meant to be about his near death type experience, he seemed to be a dude who wrote from the heart, and the drug fucked psyche. Though, having just listened to the A Scanner Darkly audio commentary, his daughter denies that he did any of that stuff. But…who knows?

I came home with a skin full one night and apparently wrote down an idea. I don’t remember doing it, but the idea was okay, more of a vignette that might get used in something later, but I’ve also found scrap notes from ‘Drunk Ryan’ where the dude is incomprehensible. I don’t think ‘E’d Out Ryan’ would fare any better.

It appears that I have to be of a completely sound and sane mind to write about angry alien/human hybrids, flunky bad guys getting literally torn apart and Atlantean giant jelly fish that attack small villages. Yeah, clearly of sound and sane mind. Clearly…

In other news; I read the 3 issues of the 2003 Iron Fist series and man was the art bad. Danny Rand should not look manga, period. I am reading The Ruins by Scott Smith and I am really digging the hell out of the start, and the entire premise, hopefully it continues to rock it out for me. But…

In two nights I will be seeing Iron Man! I have never been the biggest Stark fan, but this movie has me pumped. Favreau, Downey Jr, gold dust! I just get this vibe that everything looks set to fall into place on this one, let’s hope I don’t put too much pressure on it. Though, it has already made me sign on for the Matt Fraction Invincible Iron Man series, see if it’s any good, but of course it will be. Damn Fraction, he’s even got me buying a set of Thor books, though still unsure of the Secret Invasion ones. How much of a hold can one man have on my pull list?

Posted on April 28th, 2008 by ryan
Filed under: Writing, books, comics, movies