The Web Haunt of Ryan K Lindsay

I went to uni for four years. Lived in Earle Page College. There I learnt to drink beer, lots of it and quickly, write crappy assignments that have nothing to do with the job my qualifications earned me and procrastinate.

Sitting in a room trying to work can be the last thing your brain actually wants. So it will do its best to get out. Distractions were everywhere. The common room down the hall, I could watch Felicity with my best mate. The other 34 people on my floor, I could go into their room and see what’s up, maybe even help them procrastinate too. The other 300+ people in my college, I can waste five minutes walking to someone’s room, to chat for five minutes, and then walk slowly back, maybe even bumping into another person along the way, and then not really have to get anything done at all. I could look out my window and the lovely view of the carpark. It was always interesting to see the random pairings of people travelling together, you could learn a lot about a person’s social groups by the cars the frequented.

Or you could just drink.

I can remember having a 2000word assignment due one day, so the night before I start it. I’m working for five minutes and rocking out the distractions for a solid twenty minutes at a time. Nothing is getting done, it’s nearing midnight. There are three other people still kicking about, two of which have their own assignments to do. We decide to do a floor crawl, which means visiting every floor’s fridge in college (10 in total) and seeing what sort of alcohol we can fleece. We return with about five litres of goon. We finally have motivation.

Get our assignments done so that we can get shitfaced, it’s almost too easy. We decide to work for fifteen minutes increments and then break for fives. We can do it. About three hours later I finish my assignment. I proof it, real quick, go downstairs to print it off and staple it to a cover sheet ready for handing in. I sit and wait patiently, not long after another compadre finishes his paper. The last domino falls in timely succession and it’s goon o’clock.

I’m drinking pint mugs of goon and loving it. There’s music playing and the next thing I know I’m at breakfast having an extremely loud conversation. I’ll never remember what it was I talked about, but I will always know that it was highly inappropriate, the looks of other dining hall patrons told me enough about that. I then realised I still had to actually hand my paper in. A quick stumble to a sober friend’s breakfast table and I begged her to take it up and hand it in for me. The trooper that she was she agreed to do it.

The next thing I know it’s 8:47am and I’m falling asleep on a common room couch watching Sunrise. I wake up just in time to catch lunch, but not before I delouse myself of the blue cowboy hat on my head, fake spider on my chest and Kermit doll performing dirty dirty acts upon me. Apparently others procrastinated by dressing my comatose form. Bastards.

The point: I don’t know, but that was some of the best procrastination I ever did that Goon Morning, and I guess by writing about it I am procrastinating right now.

I think I have finished my Ego proposal. I have a one page summary of the series, so far. I have the four main character sketches, with description. I have the cover design and description about that and I have the six sample pages all put in. I think I just have to print it off now. Scary to think it’s that time already.

I would procrastinate more but I just don’t have enough goon in the house anymore…

Posted on August 12th, 2008 by ryan
Filed under: Writing, life