The Web Haunt of Ryan K Lindsay

Over at The Weekly Crisis they stole my idea, how rude. Nah, I’d been chatting with Matt Ampersand on Twitter and it’s all good. Plus, he gave a link back that just added serious weight to my site hits, which isn’t why I do this, but it’s nice to know someone out there has looked on in the last day. A while back I had put together a list of what I thought Marvel should do with their own version of Wednesday Comics, here it is again. Now Matt has done his, and other people are adding to it on the comments thread, kinda like some awesome comic creation fantasy league.

Now I’ve decided that maybe I should look at putting together a D-list little cousin to my imaginary creation, a little guilty pleasure of titles that I don’t think will ever get made, but I’d love to see them experimented on within my own little fantasy scenario I present here. So, here is, with no great amount of ado, my thoughts on a lower rent Marvel Wednesday Comics and how it should be run.

Dakota North – Joss Whedon and Terry Dodson

Whedon loves a good female protagonist and Dakota is surely that. Especially when she was off working the fashion world. He’d have excuses for all sorts of sexy outfits, not to mention naked women in the background strategically placed so as not to truly offend. Dakota could be investigating drug related deaths of models, or getting her career back on track as the model who nailed Matt Murdock and lived to tell the tale. Or more aptly, I’d have her getting a call from an old model friend who was tracking a model killer but is now dead. Dakota then tracks the killer, only to find out, it was…(well, that would be cheating, can’t give it away just yet) As for Dodson, if you can’t figure out why I want him here then you need to go do some research little boy, set the Google search preferences to unsafe.

M.O.D.O.K – Jeff Parker and Kyle Hotz

Parker could nail the fun and the frustration that is living life as a giant head. It would be interesting to have M.O.D.O.K. spending his time eluding some unseen foe that is trying to take him down, in the mall carpark, in the park while he exercises, or while he is sitting in his dining room eating dinner with a nice backlight from the lamp, the curtains open and a black street (such a lonely figure). But it’s not the Punisher and it’s not Luke Cage. It’s either an old AIM henchman with a debt to settle, literally a debt, after a big night of poker, or it’s Nick Fury wanting some information, like where M.O.D.O.K. left the keys to his AIM-mobile, it’s blocking traffic.

Orson Randall and The Confederates of the Curious – Matt Fraction and Mike Allred

I hate to throw such an obvious choice in, and such a now high profile name in Fraction, but this would be so cool that it would melt faces across the country. Anyone who saw Fraction’s splash page scripts will know that he could start each one really well and quickly. From there it’d be full of craziness with them helping US Presidents, them finding crimson everything of Cyttorak (which I spelled right the first time with no checking) and I’d have them working with Tesla at some stage. It would be ten kinds of different awesome and that is always needed and wanted. And by just the one panel of Allred’s shown here, you know he’ll come with the thunder.

Eric O’Grady, The Irredeemable Ant-Man – Seth Myers & Bill Hader with Phil Hester

This would have O’Grady in his downtime as a Thunderbolt as he tries to be a pantsman in the hottest clubs around. He would fail miserably, and usually end up shrunken down in some guy’s vomit or shrinking down to get away from some ugly girl he was drunkenly macking on. You could have fun cameos from other Thunderbolts as they mock him/feel his pain. A nice heart-to-heart with Bullseye would be just the thing to occur in the middle of a packed dance floor. The SNL boys could make with the funny in a big way, and Hester does the only O’Grady I really want to see.

Agent Brand and Beast: Agents Lovers Of S.W.O.R.D. – Jason Aaron and Leinil Francis Yu

They’d be the craziest Mr and Mrs Smith you’ve ever seen. Plus there could be down time, sweet moments where Beast gets his rant on and Brand shows us how sexy and cool she really is. Aaron could make the harsh times harsh, but also give that undercurrent of understanding that he brings so well. They’d both have to be tracking down some kind of alien menace, making sure to add in plenty of science and shenanigans along the way. I think Yu could nail some very crazy subject matter with this couple.

The Daily Bugle – Kevin Smith and Walt Flanagan

It would be like The Paper, did anyone else see that movie? It was awesome, but imagine how unbelievably awesome it would be if J. Jonah Jameson was in it, and Robbie Robertson and Betty Brant. Completely fast paced talking by Smith would be a sell, and the story could centre on one large story they are investigating, but have little asides constantly as well. Of course, Peter Parker would cameo, but always be behind a camera. Not to mention a weekly lesson in one balloon from Ben Urich.

Sam Guthrie: PI – Sean Phillips

I really think Sam Guthrie, aka Cannonball, would make a great private investigator. He’s got cool powers and he’s a funny character. This would be perfect ground for Sean Phillips to show his writing chops to match his art, I think he can do it. Guthrie would have all the pulp tropes, but at some super level. It all starts with some gal bumping into his at the coffee shop, hilarity ensues.

HYDRA – Me (yeah, me, I can write HYDRA) and Clay Mann

I want to see into HYDRA just like Kirkman showed us into S.H.I.E.L.D. in Irredeemable Ant-Man. I want to see agents just kicking about and playing cards and talking HYDRA smack. I’d centre around a new and anonymous agent, someone who works close for Madame Hydra, but not with her. The main issue would be a suspected S.H.I.E.L.D. spy within their ranks, not to mention some sort of AIM-led takeover. I doubt I’d have Bob from HYDRA in it, except as a minor cameo mugging in the background for a panel.

These are the golden ideas that I can think of. I didn’t want to pad it to fifteen with inferior pieces. The form has to stay pure.

I’d love to hear other suggestions to include.

Posted on August 6th, 2009 by ryan
Filed under: comics, Uncategorized