The Web Haunt of Ryan K Lindsay

I have to know my limitations. Everyone should, or else people will herniate in vain attempts to lift cars, or their brains will leak out their nose as they try to define quantum physics in front of a room full of dangerously smart scientists just looking to pick a bone after some time travel shut down their Hadron Collider, again. You have to know what you can do and what you cannot. Then you take what you cannot do, but want to, and slowly but surely chip away at it until it falls into the other camp.

Here’s an example first, because I love me some metaphorical explanation. My poor future-kids will never know what I’m talking about as I explain abstinence through the fable of trees sticking to their own soil, or responsible drinking via a tale of not reading too late into the night. I’m going to be such a lame-o. Anyway, today’s metaphor is long distance running. I love long distance running. I have run a half marathon before, and my record is 40km over one day, spread out in different stretches as I was a part of a group running from one town, inland, to a coastal town over two days. The majority of the running takes place in the first day, and I just clocked 40km by sunset that day. But I trained my ass off to get that 40km. I spent the previous ten weeks running 10km a day, five days a week. I was in some serious peak physical condition, kind of. So when I did my running it wasn’t too bad. I did two 5km stretches and they were a breeze. Then a 2km stretch, nothing. Then eight 1km stretches and they were down right fun. But then came the loop road to end the day, Deervale Loop Road, and off we started. I plod along when I run, I never set any land/speed records, I just get the job done. So a fair while later I hit the 20km mark and fell into the back of a car. I lay there taking in heaps of water and two rolls with something on them, and I didn’t think I’d be able to move. I was absolutely screwed, but I was happy with the day’s effort. I saw others attempt a similar feat and end up with blistered feet, cramped muscles, chafed thighs. I was sore, and tired, but I got out of the car, showered, ate dinner, and drank like two jugs of soft drink and then went to bed. The next day I ran 10km more to round out the trip to a nice 50km.

The secret to my mild success, training and knowing my limitations. Ten weeks prior I knew my limitations were lower, so I worked on upping them by running consistently in pretty warm country Australian weather, not to mention a wickedly country Australian town. Every afternoon my 10km would wind past the one local pub and they’d all stare, not sure what to do or say. By the time my big weekend came my limitations were further out, and I had more room to achieve within them. Others weren’t so aware of their limitations so they hurt themselves.

I did a similar job the next year; I trained hard, 10-12km a day, 5-7 days a week and then did an 8km run, fine. Then a 14km run, really good, so then I tackled the half marathon, 21.5km, and it was great. Made it, felt good, stopped, mild cramping, kept walking, took nearly an hour before I felt it was safe to drive home and I wouldn’t cramp right onto the accelerator. I know I am not as good a long distance runner as others, I’m just not, like my oldest brother, a physical instructor in the army, who ran a marathon earlier this year and did really well. I know my limitations forbid me to do a marathon, I’d have to work a bit more to get it, but never have. But I am aware of what I can do and I work to excel in that zone of terror.

What is this a metaphor for? (I didn’t like typing the sound ‘for’ twice in a row there, but I guess it had to be done…) What else do I write about here? Writing. I am at a stage right now where I have to know my limitations. I have finished three novels this year, with miscellaneous writing around and between them like creeper vines of literature, and I have my idea for my next novel. I have my characters mapped out, I have a fair few story notes, I also have the excitement that once I start the story it will go off in strange and awesome places and I cannot wait to go on that ride. But, there is one limitation I have to be aware of. In fact, it is insanely important that I keep this in mind at all times.

In three weeks, or just under, I will be getting married. There are still some things to do, nothing major, just final music lists, place settings, speeches, the trimmings really, but they need to be done, and I have to focus to make sure it gets done, and everyone stays calm about it all. The advice I get from everyone is that I have to do everything the lady says in this lead up to her our big day. So, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Here comes the limitation. I know I cannot do that and write/start a novel at the same time. Once I start a novel it becomes all consuming. I think about it at all times, when I am away from the computer I worry and wonder what words I would be writing were I where I should be. You can see it in my eyes, I am elsewhere even when I am right here. My lady is great, she lets me wander out of the room to be left in her own silence with a mild clattering of laptop keys in the background as I find inspiration quickly and need to get it out lest it be lost, forever. A novel becomes my life, and I love being lost in that funk, but it’s not going to help her, nor I, in the lead up to a very cool yet stressful day. I don’t think, for the next three weeks, that it would be good for her to see that look in my eyes. I know what sort of response I would get, and it would be somewhere on that scorned woman scale that men are taught to know, fear, and respect.

So, I cannot start my novel yet, or at least don’t want to. I know the wedding will, and does, take up a lot of my thoughts and I don’t particularly want to be away from that day either. The solution, for me, now that I know my limitations is to keep making notes on the novel but not start that first line. I’ll get through the wedding, I’ll even get through the honeymoon the next week and I know I’ll do it all and be completely hers. I’ll not have another thought on my mind, and then when we come back it’ll be Xmas with her family, and then the book can start. I’ll have another 4-5 weeks off work for summer holidays, and I can just sit around the house and write to my hearts desire from 5am to 5pm, as well as clean the house, dishes, laundry, and prepare all the meals (because I want to, not because I have to. I’m home all day while she works, real work, it’s the least I can do.), but there’ll always be plenty of hours left in my day. And I’ll make good use of them happy knowing that I’ve done it the right way.

I’ve looked at my situation, I’ve assessed the obstacles, the reality, and the desired outcomes. And most importantly I’m putting my lady first. I love my writing, don’t get me wrong, but I love her most of all. So I’ll prioritise, I’ll follow the steps, and I’ll succeed. It’s all about thinking ahead, really.

Posted on November 23rd, 2009 by ryan
Filed under: life